the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize