I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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