In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
