wakey wakey hands off snakey
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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