don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
