Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am spending my child support on dildos
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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