names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
