If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i out mim tonsoeep
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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