ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize