I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
