I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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