Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Randomize
