If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
