I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
