I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize