summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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