They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
