just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
