marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
