me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i've created a new STD.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
