If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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