Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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