I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
