My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
