Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
