We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
