tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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