i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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