NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
