got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
