They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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