Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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