I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
kristin has been a bad kristin
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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