tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
