It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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