when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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