a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
