there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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