We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
