she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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