With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
bring money and cleavage
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
