He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
