Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
