i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
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