I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
