I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
