i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i now understand why vodka
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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