I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
