Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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