You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
