I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
