you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
