Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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