don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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