Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
