Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How naked do you want me to be?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
