Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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