yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
