Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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