I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
