can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
