I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
