We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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