your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
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It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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