My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
should my penis look like a turkey
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
