this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
