he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
