I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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