so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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